My Life As A Mom With An Autoimmune Disorder

“I have an autoimmune disorder. I am a mom with an autoimmune disorder who is trying her BEST. I am not my autoimmune disorder.”

Source: Val (That’s me!)

These are just a few of the statements that I try to recite to myself when I feel crappy, discouraged and exhausted. That’s what having an autoimmune disorder does to me. I know that most people struggling with chronic health issues can relate to these feelings.

I created my blog, La Vie in Progress, with the hope of sharing the “best” parenting tips that I have used over the years to manage my large (and sometimes crazy, lol) blended family. But I haven’t been proving the full picture of my life as a parent. I realized that if I want to actually help others then I need to be more authentic.

I understand know that I can best help other moms, if I share my struggles more. Also, through the process of sharing, I hope to decrease my own feelings of isolation that can sometimes plague me.

Mom-life with an autoimmune disorder or chronic illness, comes with many unique challenges that’s hard for other people to understand. Hopefully, in sharing my experiences, other moms with autoimmune disorders won’t feel as misunderstood, as I often do.

Being a mom can be incredibly challenging. Period.

Being a mom with an autoimmune disorder can sometimes feel impossible. Yes, we’re surviving, but are we truly living?

Nowadays most people get that mom-life is tough. Very few people get, though, how grueling it is caring for our little humans when our bodies are literally attacking us from the inside out every single day.

Parenting with an autoimmune disorder is hard.

It. Is. HARD.

Despite the many tough days, I feel grateful for the strength, resiliency, and compassion that God has given me through these struggles. It is not an easy road, but I have learned some effective strategies to feel more successful at the end of each day.

Learning, sharing, crazy self-care and building my own trusted support system is a MAJOR part of overcoming my battle with chronic illness.

I plan to continue to support other moms throughout my own journey. Particularly the unheard group of moms with similar invisible battles that people think we should just get over. We shouldn’t have to completely fall apart just to get help!🤕

Therefore, I have decided that this blog, La Vie in Progress, will be changing course. And I am so excited!

Let’s get into it!

My Journey With Chronic Illness

In my late twenties I was diagnosed with Sjogren’s Syndrome (pronounced “Show-grenz”).

I know it sounds so weird, right?

The American College of Rheumatology describes Sjogren’s Syndrome as a “systemic autoimmune rheumatic disease that affects the entire body.” The hallmark symptoms of Sjogren’s Syndrome are significant dry eyes and dry mouth, but it can effect each person differently in various ways throughout the body. As with any autoimmune condition, you can experience “flare-ups,” which is when your symptoms can drastically increase for a period of time. Flare-ups can impair your ability to function on many level. Flare-ups can last for days, weeks or even months. The frequency of flare-ups differ from person to person, and can change at different stages of life.

For me, Sjogren’s Syndrome does cause severe dry eyes and increased incidents of oral health issues, but it only gets worse from there. I experience some form of debilitating pain just about every day. When I’m having a flare-up, my pain becomes excruciating and I have a lot of difficulty walking and moving in general. I also suffer from chronic fatigue and horrible brain fog.

Stress increases my symptoms, but my symptoms increase my stress. It’s a pretty frustrating cycle to live through. Now imagine raising FIVE children through all of this, while also trying to be productive and just live life. It can suck! 😭

The hardest pill to swallow about being a mom with an autoimmune disorder is that I look like a “normal mom.”

By normal mom, I mean: busy schedule, cooking, cleaning, multi-tasking, drained, and taking care of everyone else before myself. There’s an expectation that you’re going to have a lot on your plate as a mom, and we’re expected to feel this sacrilegious pride in taking care of everyone above ourselves.

Ummm…no thank you!

When you add a chronic illness to the mom-mix, there’s not much empathy being given out. I mean, aren’t we supposed to push ourselves through the feeling of overwhelm? Aren’t ALL moms tired? Don’t all mom’s have a lot on their plate? Plus, you look fine.

It can be hard explaining, even to other moms, about the additional layer(s) of challenges that come with parenting when you have an autoimmune disorder. It’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place- while also battling your own body from the inside out. Ugh…

I want to change that! I hope to help in anyway that I can to get our voices heard.

How La Vie in Progress Will Be Changing- For the Better!

I created this blog because I’m a mom with a large blended family that looked together on the outside, but I was really struggling on the inside.

Yes, my kids were doing well in school, they were all involved in activities, and they were all very well fed. But I was struggling to give them each more individual attention. Our lives were so busy that we weren’t able to actually enjoy spending time with each other. We were always running around. I started to hate being in my car and I dreaded going to yet another activity.

I was drowning. I felt overwhelmed. I felt like there wasn’t much joy in life. It was just go, go, go.

To be honest, I created La Vie in Progress to help myself get through the ups and downs of busy mom-life, just as much as to help others. Reminding moms to take care of themselves, also prompts me to prioritize self-care in my life. I don’t know about you, but it’s much easier for me to help others than it is to help myself.

I love writing this blog and helping moms, but something has always been missing for me.

Being a mom with an autoimmune disorder is a major part of me. My chronic illness effects how I can parent, my strengths and limitations, and how I see the world.

I want to be fully authentic in everything that I do, including with this blog.

La Vie in Progress will still be focused on the struggles of mom-life, overcoming daily parenting challenges, and empowering moms to conquer their personal goals!

There will be a special focus, though, on the additional obstacles that moms with an autoimmune disorder face because they have an “invisible illness.”

It is particularly important for me to bring these unique challenges to the forefront, with the hope that my little blog can assist other moms with autoimmune disorders to feel heard and seen.

We’re going through a lot. More than our families and friends realize. How can our loved ones fully support us…if they don’t get it?

Let’s open the discussion on life with chronic illness. We need to share our stories, our struggles and our victories!

My hope is that I can share (and learn!) some practical realistic tips that moms with autoimmune disorders can effectively utilize to feel successful at the of the day. Success for us, may be different than for other moms- but it’s still success!

Closing Thoughts (For Now!)

I am excited about this new journey!

I want to share more. I also want to learn more.

Please feel free to leave comments and/or message me with your thoughts on the new path for this blog. I am open to feedback on topics that you all are interested in, related to mom-life and/or chronic illness.

I am NOT a medical doctor. I will NOT be providing medical advice in any way. Even if I share treatments or practices that I have tried, this is not a recommendation for anyone else for their medical course.

My goal is to share my journey and practical techniques on managing the day to day obstacles that come with being a mom, particularly a mom with an autoimmune disorder. I am advocating for self-care for ALL moms, no matter what your circumstances are. I truly believe that there are self-care practices that can fit every mom’s life. It’s about changing our perspective on what self-care looks like and showing ourselves GRACE through it all.

Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments! If you feel comfortable, you can also share about what has or hasn’t worked for you with your parenting journey while managing a chronic illness. Let’s support each other!

Take care!

~Val

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit

(Romans 15:13, NIV)